Sail Away

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Posts by Sail Away

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  43

  Advice Needed - JW Grandparents

  by What Now? in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my family has been out (inactive no meeting attendance or field service) for just over two years..

  weve made many changes in our lives, including with our personal appearances (tattoos, piercings etc) that are a pretty obvious sign that we arent going back any time soon.

  our families went through a period of time about a year ago when they made a lot of threats that if we left the truth, they wouldnt even be able to share a meal with us, they would stay loyal to jehovah etc.

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  Sail Away

  What Now?, I'm sorry for your dilemma. I've read this thread and see there are different opinions-- those emphasizing tolerance and teaching critical thinking skills; others, like you said in your OP, say their family is a package deal.

  I have been in a much similar situation, except that Mr. SailAway was the "inactive" one, and I was the indoctrinated JW. My JW in-laws were shunning their son, except under the "essential family business" escape clause, they allowed him to drive 500 miles to bring us to visit them. He tried to do everything he could to accommodate us and even went to the KH with the family during those visits. In between visits my JW MIL maintained contact by letters to me and the kids. Neither my MIL or FIL to this day has initiated a phone call to our home. Until I walked away from the organization four years ago (because I refused to shun my own son), I always felt like I was in the middle, the go between between my hubby and in-laws and my kids.

  I raised my kids as JWs. My daughter "respectfully declined" a "shepherding call" from an elder when she was 17 years old and never attended another meeting. My son was later DF'd. Now my in-laws shun both of them. I know for a fact that his hurts both of my children on a very deep level. Worse yet, my JW in-laws want nothing to do with my daughter's brand new baby, my beautiful grandson and their great grandson. They are shunning an innocent baby!

  Once I woke up, it got more and more difficult to put up with their venomous speech and ill treatment of my husband, so I stopped writing to my MIL two years ago. I just stopped answering her letters. She no longer writes. They have no direct evidence that I left the organization. I guess we are shunning each other.

  I tell you all of this, because I think that, in the end, only pain can result from your children developing a relationship with their JW grandparents. Been there, done that.

  Just Sail Away
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  23

  My wife , Son and DIL living with us ,have still not acknowledged my birthday today @ 5:15 pm , I might have to drop them a subtle hint.

  by smiddy in

  1. social
  2. family

  i know being a witness for 33 years and not celebrating b/days you do lose the habit , but i thought one of them would have remembered ?

  oh well .. maybe i will just rub it in with them tomorrow .make them feel guilty , eh ?.

  then again i might just start singing "76 trombones" at the dinner table tonight .

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  Sail Away

  Happy Birthday Smiddy! It's my birthday today too! Mr. SailAway's birthday is July 4th, so he really can't forget mine. I gave him a card and bought him some birthday cannolis. He really isn't into cake.

  I've been out four years now. July 4th is also my personal Independence Day, since I walked away from the organisation on July 3, 2011. I love that we have fireworks all weekend long here in the US for our birthdays! My hubby and children are finally coming around about the holidays. They tolerate my silliness. I embrace the holidays, but I can't fault them for the way they were raised. I'm hoping for my new grandson's sake that my daughter will learn to really celebrate his birthday and Christmas. For now I just keep doing what makes me happy! I think I'll get myself a birthday cupcake today!
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  204

  Candace Conti Settles

  by Nitty-Gritty in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  hot topic on topix seems to be candace conti settlement.

  but it's all quiet here.

  are you guys aware that your hero, who was not in it for the money but to change policies, settled without changing anything?

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  Sail Away

  (((Umbertoecho))), what happened to you is unspeakably wicked. I am so very sorry. It is so brave of you to tell us about your experience.
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  12

  Do JW still drink like a fish in small gathering??

  by James Mixon in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  in the 60's and 70's when i became a mindless cult follower there.

  were gathering for the elite and they would get sh---t face, i mean down right.

  drunk.

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  Sail Away

  When my son was still in he told me his then P.O. "drank like it was his job". He would likely need to in order to forget that he and his former pioneer (succumbed to fibro myalgia) wife were shunning their two sons. It hurts to be in a cult.
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  18

  Australian journalists investigating abuse

  by Joel-ABC-730 in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  dear members,.

  i am an investigative journalist with the australian public broadcaster, the abc.

  we are currently gathering information from members of the jehovah's witnesses who experienced sexual abuse as children and adolescents in australia.

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  Sail Away

  Joel, please post your inquiry on this Forum as well:

  http://exjehovahswitnessforum.yuku.com/

  Andriasyxx is a forum moderator there who volunteers to help victims of abuse in the Australian court system. She may be able to help you. I'll message her to alert her to look for your post.
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  44

  How do you manage to keep JW friendships after you left the organization?

  by Bonsai in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it seems incredibly difficult.

  those who leave the org.

  (or fade) no longer have anything in common with jehovah's witnesses, nor do they want to stick around to get radiated by the fear and guilt that saturates every aspect of a witnesses' life.. i've lost all but one of my jw friends quite simply because i can no longer condone the evil things that they condone.

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  Sail Away

  I was unable to keep any of my JW "friends". I associated with nine congregations during my 42 years in. There is one former "friend" who will still call when she wants something from me. That hasn't changed. I'm not DF'd and won't DA. I walked away and didn't look back. I don't miss the hypocrisy one bit.
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  47

  What are you up to this summer?

  by Xanthippe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i really enjoy hearing about other people's lives.

  feeling a little lonely this evening so please tell me if you have plans for the summer months.

  i may go to some outdoor theatre with my daughter who's home from uni; with a picnic and a bottle of wine.

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  Sail Away

  Xanthippe, I just finished traveling in Panama for two weeks researching possible retirement options. I had great fun meeting people through Air Bnb. Now I'm in Guatemala visiting my six-month old grandson, daughter and son-in-law. We're headed to Antigua this weekend. Mr. Sail Away is home happily teaching sailing all summer. He's not big on travel. Now that I'm liberated from the confines of JWdom, I am enjoying traveling on my own. I no longer feel the need to be The Good JW wife, staying home waiting for hubby.

  In July I have a high school friend coming to visit from out of state. We are attending our high school reunion together. She wants to go to the casino, gamble a bit and see a paranormal-type show there. That will be good for another notch on my 50 Ways to Leave Your Cult list.

  In August I have tai chi camp and plan to visit my son in Annapolis, MD for a few days on the way home. He has wanted to take me to Assateague Island National Seashore for years.

  Hope you enjoy your visit with your daughter-- family time is the best!
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  6

  Will The WT Corporation Be Faced With More Civil Lawsuits Be Filed And Won Over Emotional Pain And Suffering Caused By Shunning World Wide?

  by Brokeback Watchtower in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  the way society today is become more and more sensitive about social wrongs like child abuse, mistreatment of gay people, discrimination and things that cause psychological harm etc....to me spell doom for the wt corporation in the courts as the record is clear to judges and juries that the wt corporation is an abusive cult that needs the law systems to bring them to accounts $$$$ for their cruel treatments to minors and anyone they deem "mentally diseased" and avoided because they found out the wt corporation is a web of lies and deceit.. i feel we are in the very beginning of the end and the lawsuits will pile up to the point of bankruptcy for these abusive crooks..

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  Sail Away

  Mr. SailAway contacted a lawyer in NY, USA about 35 years of shunning and being written out of the will. WT will get one million plus when his 90-year-old JW parents die. Nothing can be done, but he was reassured that as an only child he will be noticed of their death. This is actually a relief. For years when I was still in, I was the go between between them. Two years ago I couldn't handle their hate speech toward hubby and my children who are no longer JWs any longer, so I simply stopped responding to correspondence. I'm done with them. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
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  33

  Within one minute JW with trolley directs me to JW.org

  by steve2 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i live in relatively small seaside community (regional population around 45,000).

  in my ten years here, i've had witnesses call on me perhaps twice (not special visits but during door-to-door).

  whereas they once canvassed door-to-door much more frequently - and in larger size service groups - there is quite a decline in their door-knocking - at least in this region.. with the advent of the "trolley" work, their visibility has increased - but i'd estimate only marginally.

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  Sail Away

  I'm traveling in Central America visiting family. I spoke to JWs in Bocas del Toro and in Coronado, Panama. I said that I have JWs in my family and played dumb. The only thing they were interested in sharing was their titles-- C.O., C.O. in training, Missionary, local Elder, full-time pioneer.
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  39

  Wives who complain about their husbands work schedule but refuse to get a job

  by hoser in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i listen to one of these all time in our hall.

  she brings it up constantly about how they would do this or that but he has to work that saturday.

  i think she should get a job and then he could find a lower paying 9 to 5 job..

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  Sail Away

  Hoser

  You were a sister supporting a pioneering husband, Viviane?

  I didn't know the elders would approve a mooching husband to pioneer as it is his scriptural responsibility to support the family

  In my former congregation there were two elders who were full-time pioneers supported by their wives' income. One was the service overseer.